Open Letter to Male Coworkers: Your fear or over cautiousness around women is also sexist.

It feels objectifying in a way that makes me uncomfortable, not unlike unwanted sexual attention does. At my job I am usually the only woman in my office area, so when I walk into a room there are often jokes about stopping the sexist conversation “uh oh guys change the subject”, “speaking of HR…” or apologizing (jokingly) for crude language as though my innocent lady ears can’t handle the adult language. This is completely infantilizing, I’m an adult, I can handle adult language I just don’t want to be harassed. This means that these men don’t see me as an equal. I’m fortunate enough to have a boss that is very supportive and decently woke so I don’t have to deal with it all day, not that it makes it better. Whats really disappointing here is It completely misses the point of what this newest backlash on sexual misconduct is all about. It’s not about editing themselves to not be offensive when women are around by reserving inappropriate comments and “locker room” talk to guys only time. The idea that the correct response to the current climate is to “hide” the bad behavior out of fear of being caught just adds insult to injury. It sends the message that even after everything they’ve heard about how detrimental this behavior has been to SO many lives they are unwilling to change their views.

I get that it’s “scary times for men” but if they really saw women as equals they would have no reason for fear. Fear is dangerous, it makes me feel unsafe to be feared, it gets a hostile response, like i’m out to ruin them when really I just want to do my fucking job.

I want for people to do the work to see women as equals, truly equals, because if they felt my gender was equal they wouldn’t be feeling insecure and saying anything at all that should make me go to HR, wether or not I’m in the room.

If you are upset because you don’t think this applies to you please refer to the image below:

Note: This is a quick gripe about something that has been bothering me based on my experience, not intended to be anything more, or less.