Bad Habits

Iphone photo taken that time we broke into the train yard to smash bottles

Every damn time
over and over
a madman masochist
to the familiar
the comfortable
discontent

That which doesn’t serve
wastes me
keeps me afraid
to lose more
there is freedom in loss
isn’t there

Pushing for more
sucking the dry bottom
of a cup long empty
when the water flows sweetly
so near to me

I fear the cold
current that beats
sharp rocks against my feet
although
I’ve always been a swimmer
I was born in this water
carry it to dry lips
while I remain
thirsty